Well, this morning I was once again shocked into awareness while listening to the local rock radio station. An informal survey of nine men was done. The question was "If you won a raffle and had your choice of two prizes, which would you take?". The choices were A. Superbowl tickets and B. A date with Scarlett Johanson. To my chagrin 7 of the 9 pansies chose Superbowl tickets. One of the other pansies opted to trade Scarlett for Miley Cyrus. What is wrong with our society!? What kind of man opts to spend an evening in a stadium with 80,000 people watching a football game rather than spend it alone in the company of a severely attractive and classy woman? And what about that other douche that wanted to spend it with a teenage ditz? Look, I'm a football man. Love it. But there will be thousands more football games.
When will a man get the repeat opportunity to sit across from an irresistible and unattainable woman and try with all of his heart and soul to get that second date? Yes, I'm aware that there is almost no chance that the average man could woo Ms. Scarlett. But what of the indomitable American spirit? Did our forefathers say there was almost no chance and therefore we must not try? George Washington beat the best Army and best Navy in the world with a bunch of farmers with no shoes. Was he afraid to try? As boxers say, "A puncher always has a chance".
But forget a second date. Why not take it for the pleasure of the date alone? Who has not felt the rush of showing up at a restaurant with a beautiful woman, in a lovely dress, on his arm? Who hasn't felt a tingle looking into her eyes in the candlelight? Who has not gazed at her porcelain skin and the contours of her shape and appreciated being born a man? Who has any doubt that this feeling would be compounded one hundred fold with a woman like Scarlett Johanson across the table? I have absolutely nothing in common with the woman. We are from completely different worlds with differing opinions and politics and experiences. But why not sit across from this woman and try to reach a common ground or understanding? Why not try to find similar interests? And if that's not possible, why not put all that aside and speak of trivial things while enjoying a meal and some drinks in the company of a refined beauty? Why not just for the sake of the adventure date one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood?
Is it that these survey takers lacked the courage to spend an evening in the company of a gorgeous, worldly female or the desire? I'm almost afraid to know which. And I'm afraid of what it might mean for America and for man.
This..
Or This?
2 comments:
I've had similar observations regarding the de-balling of the modern man. Something else I've noticed: boys want to be boys, but they are prevented from doing so by overprotective mothers and their unctuous husbands. They're being dressed like dolls and scrubbed with hand sanitizer after every move they make. Forget rough and tumble play, these kids are growing up in the age of bicycle helmets, padded monkey bars, and child leashes. That's where it starts.
As to that survey of the 9 men, were they married? I could understand if a man prefers the Superbowl ticket thinking that he can't cheat on his wife. On the other hand, if the question were stressed as a hypothetical, and it's a given that either (a) you're not married or (b) you get a free pass, then the answer is easy: Fuck the Superbowl.
On a similar note, I've been watching Mad Men lately, a show that reminds us of what our fathers and grandfathers must have been like. One scene in particular showed a man returning a wedding gift to a department store. You would think he had the plague the way other customers and the receptionists were treating him. A man, in a department store, returning a wedding gift! Before you know it, men will be carrying purses. Oh wait...
The survey was on a radio show. They did not specify who could call in but it was levied in a way to make one assume that marraige or another relationship should not be a concern. I'm still quite disturbed over the whole ordeal....and I can't stop thinking about Scarlett Johanson.
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